When I hear other rappers...

I just shake my head. Nobody wants to stand out anymore. They just want to simply make it. So they look at what they feel like rappers that have made it works and they just copy it. They don't see the entire picture of what it takes to be an artist...not a rapper! Kinda like society, if you live inside the box you wont see anything but what's inside the box. Ehhh anyway, I am so hungry in life it's almost deceiving. I won't talk too much or give you too much of what's on my mind but I listen to other people's music and then I turn on a beat I have and kill it. It's like just something else...idk. It's something way wayyy deep inside of me...I can only compare it to a fire burning, roaring, very big!

Anyway, I didn't want to devote this whole entry to other people, I was just elaborating on my thoughts vaguely. I had to paint my whole interior room today, picked out a blue smurf color lol. Its super straight though, I gotta paint the other room tmrw and slide by and grab a dresser for my clothes too. Then I may finally feel relaxed lol. In another sense though, I'm kind of unsure of what's about to happen for me. I have a couple options. Trying to make things happen finically and hopefully I can find the right prices for the projects I need completed. If I can get my finances together, I truly believe it's over. Lets check those prices lol.

I keep dennis on my mind alot too. It's almost as if I can get angry for no reason and not know why I'm mad. I just get in my car(late at night) and just slide listening to music. It sure does clear my mind. I can feel people's pain, especially his. I'm definitely not like anybody you would meet, but that's why I am me and you are you. Sometimes though, its as if I want to blow all my money on music and essentially invest in myself..maybe if I go back to being broke, like always, I won't have this stress anymore on saving my money I have now. But If I go broke and nothing airs out, I sure don't want to work a 9-5 getting by check to check. That's not life. I feel cheated almost and it makes me want to cheat society back in violent ways. Most likely I won't, but I've been there before and it's not somewhere you should experience lol. Noooo wayyyyy.

I've been keeping a hand written journal for the last couple of months and I will start posting the images of my journal on here for you all to see. I think the 1st entry provides a backstory so its about 4/5 pages but every other entry is 1 page long.

Well next time I'll probably give you all an update on what i've been working on and trying to make happen. Until then, I'll see you all in my dreams....

CHARTT