It keeps you focused on what really matters instead of worrying about the things that do not. I know sometimes I do. This weekend was my birthday though and I kind of just went with the flow. I enjoyed it for the all people who wanted to be apart of it and wrote me to see how I was or what I was going to do. Thank you to all of you! I drank a lot, no throwing up but I'm convinced every bartender in town knows how to make a clemson goodnight now lol.
Anyway, so I've been trying some new ideas out and I really like them. I am learning to let go and trust that life wants me to be happy so why fight it the things that happen. As long as I can look back and say I did what I could do and said how I felt, then let go and whatever happens, happens. Just go with the flow and not try to be such a people pleaser sometimes. Also, probably the 1 thing I suck at is trusting other people. I've never had those rocks in my life. I can name 1 or 2 from about 18yrs to now. Before I ever get into a relationship again, I will be prepared to give that person all my trust and just let go. It makes me nervous but it's what the other person deserves and I can't be selfish with my own fear.
I've been really sad for the last couple weeks because I feel like I was given up on. I know this will go away eventually but now it's lingering. I can't really feel pain anymore but it's like a big hole inside of your stomach. I can't even stomach the thought of talking to someone else to fill it though. I've had oppurtunities but my stomach literally turns/hurts and I can't do it. I am feeling like i'm almost over it because i'm coming to acceptance that she didn't realize I was worth it and isn't about to start. As I write this I am sorry for the rant but if you don't like it, click the back button and go back where you came from. This is where i'm at in my life so i'll write about it.
I am happy for my small group of friends and my family for caring.
On side notes, I think jabari parker for duke is the best player in the country ncaa and the magic would be okay with a top 5 pick because at 5 we can still get nicholas exam or aaron gordon from arizona at the 4/5. Anything after that is solid but not franchise changing. It's early but for the record, let it be known I said it here.
I did write another song the last week. I made the beat and poured how I felt into it. It's different but I like it. I'm still shooting videos, I had to change up some concepts and now I really love it. I am trying my absolute hardest to move to orlando after christmas to continue school. I have to get out of this town and I need to speed up the process because originally it was summer but there's nothing left here for me. Everyone I knew left here. I do need to slow down with drinking, my body needs time off. Life has been hitting me with haymakers the last couple weeks and last night I got another one but I am not about to type it on the internet. I am fortunate but still 1 step forward, 2 backward.
Sorry again for the rants, happy days and attitudes are right around the corner. I can feel it. Use my blog in any way where it helps you. I write for several reasons, if you read it, use it.
Until Next Time ------> CHRIS
