What's on the inside...

I'm so disappointed and amazed with the stage of the world today. It's sad, to me at least, and most of you don't care because the things that the quality of your day/week depend on consist of things like, did you drink? did you smoke? ultimately did you do whatever makes you happy? If not, boo hoo you didn't get things to go your way. Facebook is one big place where everyone dumps their problems. Its like the garbage dump for complaints, excuses and people looking for sympathy. I mean defining someone's happiness is such a wide range, i'm sure that people who can appreciate this message have a similar view like mine but I'm referring to those whose happiness is solely defined on self desires and small unimportant things when put on a larger scale, you probably won't care.

I mean the point of this entry was because over the last week, i've run into some really rude people. It's really bothered me because I've self consciously told myself I should be nicer to people because that's how I'd like 2 be treated. Even more troubling is that all the people that were rude, were women! It amazed me at how I could be polite, respectful and hav a positive tone and still get some sort of rude response or negative tone back to me. And dont say I'm being naive because we live in a world where women constantly day in and day out complain about not getting respected, and if we view being vulnerable as being naive that is a problem, so check yourself. Also, I'm not saying i'm going around opening doors and wiping their asses being a predictable, stiff, monotone person but i'm being polite and respectful at certain times while keeping my individuality and it's just not appreciated.

It's like you want money but you do nothing to make you money but yet you still expect to get it every day and if you don't get it, you complain about it. When someone is nice enough to give you a little money, you can't appreciate the gesture...therefore inevitably only hurting your chance of ever getting money again...especially from that person.

To all the people who are sitting here thinking that I am still at fault because I can't control it so why do I worry about it, here you go. You have to be the change that you want the world to be. Life is governed by freedom of choice but let me give you a new choice or re-create an old one. Don't just aspire to be D or C grade people in life...thats normal, and honestly...who wants to be normal? Someone saying I'm weird is a great thing to me, especially if they can't explain why I'm weird.. because that means i'm not like you normal people.

2 end, I am just disappointed with society and how us as people and generation and this world can't appreciate niceness anymore. It's like we are searching for the evil in all of us constantly...why? I really do shake my head, this has been on my mind for the last 3/4 days.

Update on myself

It's been quite a while since I've last wrote in here. I've been very busy and had some weird things happen 2 me. Anyway I met Pleasure P's brother who is a songwriter and now we work 2gether on making demos of songs 4 other artists. Also, I went 2 orlando in early may and just last week and we did a 3 day stretch that turned up 15 new beats and then we just did a 2 day stunt that gave us 16 more so in 5 days we made 31 new beats. I don't sleep when he's in town...Im not kidding.

Ok, now yes! I AM still working on my own music. However I have some bad news and it's that I will not be able 2 release any material until most likely next year in early 2011. It just won't be ready until then, I am disappointed that I had 2 push it back so far but it is well worth it, I swear. I have 2 mixtapes completely written and I'm halfway done with the album. I figure if I can finish the album soon enough, I may be able 2 start working on a 3rd mixtape and start prepping the 2nd album.

Here's some leak info about it. I met a local artist from Palm Beach - Eric Biddines - who will feature on a song that I produced called "I'm So Different" ... I am really excited 4 this song, we will probably shoot a music video 4 it. I can already see how the music video will look like. I get these visions. I am feeling a black n white shoot for that one. Ok now I have 2 mixtapes and 1 of them is full of a combination of songs that I've wrote in the past and a couple that I've wrote in present time. The central theme of the 1st mixtape is a more aggressive type of persona that I take on. The 2nd mixtape is something like a pre-album to my CD. It's more of a present day feel and has my other type of persona in it, which will get you ready for the album. Then when the CD drops it will be nuts, I got some crucial songs. Any1 who can appreciate music and it's message within it will love it.

Lastly, I'm stuck writing lyrics for the last couple months. I actually just finished a song tonight called "747" that will be different. If I can speed up this writing process you may see the date get pushed up for material. I hope so. I have a lot of work to do in the meantime, so I am going 2 step away from this site for a little while to take care of it. Thank you 4 reading and believing.

CHARTT

JOURNAL ENTRY #8 and #9

Hmm I think will post 2 entries tonight. And a video 2 go with it lol. Here you go lol, enjoy.

JOURNAL ENTRY #7

I think the last 3 day's I've left the house twice. Here's the next entry in my journal though. Enjoy.

JOURNAL ENTRY #6

Its kinda late, i just got home from writing a lil at a friends. demoed some of my album, got good reviews. I feel good about it. However my car is dying and it looks like time 4 a new one. im happy but mad because there goes my money! Heres my journal entry...enjoy!