Frustrated

I went over my music tonight and was a lil amazed at the things I wrote during my senior year in high school back in 08. I was pretty detailed. I wrote a song called "Without You" in Dec of 07 and "Alone" in September of 07, and those lyrics stand true today, 3 years later.

"It's like every time I get close to a person, things are never fine and nothing is working" - Without You Dec 07


I dont know why things happen to me and I wonder often but struggle for the answers sometimes. It gets frustrating to see no changes. They say things are placed in your life because you are strong enough to deal with them, but who am I proving it to? And what am I gaining that I didn't already possess? At times I feel like doing things the right way is misrepresented by tv, film, internet and advertisements because it's gotten me nowhere.

Life is viewed differently by everyone and we all hav different things we seek to fulfill throughout it. I feel like the things that tie me to this world are the things that I least need. I value the things that we can't touch or sense. It just seems as if no one values those either or I am not meeting the people that are. I'm stuck in all aspects of what's important to me and am finding it difficult to find my path forward. It's becoming increasingly hard to escape a world we live in.

I'm sick of fake love towards me as a person or my music. I'm tired of waking up alone. I'm tired of feeling like the underdog constantly. I'm tired of being looked down upon. I'm tired of being a 2nd or 3rd option to people. I'm so tired of not being appreciated as a person and the things that I am capable of. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do the next few months except sit on unemployment and save money. I dont want to work paycheck to paycheck but I will until I can manage. I have absolutely no clue how I'm going to take my shot at music but I'm keeping faith that time will allow it happen. I hope I can find 1 or the other soon because I am feeling a lil frustrated with the way things in my life hav been going.

"They said I couldn't be who I wanted to be, but I turned out exactly how I wanted to be" - 2010 CHARTT


I hope you get to hear it sooner than later. Im listening to it right now and I love it. I hope something shakes. I'm nervous about the future.